Missing Your Mum on Mother’s Day

Sunday, 13 May 2018

Mother’s Day is a time to honour and celebrate your mother. While it’s a great day and a wonderful opportunity to make your mum feel special, it can also be a hard if your mother has passed away.

As Mother’s Day approaches, lots of people make plans to spend time with their mum. Some families will meet up for a long lunch, others may plan a special weekend, and some will spend time together. For those who are lucky enough to have their mother in their life, it can be a great day. But if your mother has died, the day can be incredibly hard.

Whether you’re young or old, single or married, a parent or not, losing your mother is one of the most emotional experiences you’ll ever go through.

If you’re struggling with grief this Mother’s Day, know that you’re not alone. Here are some tips that may help coping with the day a little easier.

  • Honour her by doing something that you loved to do together – Was there something you and your mother enjoyed doing together? If you loved gardening, buy some plants and plant them in your garden in her memory. If you cooked together, make your favourite recipes. I. Doing something your mother loved is a lovely way to honour her and bring her into your day.
  • Practice self love – Sleep in. Go for a walk. Eat a nice meal. Treat yourself to a massage. Do things that bring you comfort and make you smile. Consider it as a tribute to the most important contribution your mother made to the world – you.
  • Write a letter – Take the time to write a letter to your mother. Think about you favourite times. Recall an important life lesson she left you with. Pour out your feelings on beautiful paper or tap away on your computer keyboard and be honest about everything you’re feeling.
  • Allow yourself to cry – Mother’s Day can bring up some powerful feelings for those grieving the loss of a mother especially if she passed recently. Give yourself some time to process your feelings, either alone or with others. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others and treat yourself gently as you cry it out.
  • Ask for help – If you start to feel overwhelmed by sadness and grief, reach out to a family member, friend or support service. Help and support makes all the difference.

When children lose their mum

Mother’s Day can be a challenging time for children who have suffered a loss in their life. If you’re supporting a child who’s lost their mother, grandmother or a mother figure, use Mother’s Day to help them learn about who their mum was.

  • Ask them what they want to do – Asking children for their input is important. Just like adults, children have their own grief road to travel. Some might not want to do anything at all. Others might have quite strong ideas of how they want to honour their mother. Giving kids a chance to remember their mum in their own way on Mother’s Day can go a long way in the healing process.
  • Talk about their Mum- Mother’s Day is a great time to talk about the person they’ve lost. Share happy thoughts and discuss good times to ensure their mother remains a real presence in their lives.
  • Make a memory box – Put keepsakes and other special items into a box, visible items can help children feel more connected to their mums.
  • Make a card – Creating a Mother’s Day card can help children work through what they’re feeling. After they’ve made the card, ask them what they’d like to do with it. They might want to keep it in their room or display it somewhere special in the house.

Remember your mum

The love of a mother is irreplaceable and doesn’t die, even when she does.

Grief and loss is something we all experience at some point in our lives, and having strategies in place to cope with those special times like Mother’s Day can help make the process a little easier to navigate.

Focus on what your mum meant to you and what you learnt from her. What is your mother’s legacy? And remember, Mother’s Day is a special day for celebrating and remembering mothers, grandmothers and others, whether they’re living or not.

Adapted from: waltercarter.com.au/blog/lost-without-her-missing-your-mum-on-mothers-day