Tuesday, 11 January 2022
Losing a baby is heart breaking no matter when it happens. A miscarriage is a devastating loss for the mother, their partner, and their family. The tragedy of a miscarriage has traditionally been private, an event grieved largely by the mother, on her own. However in more recent times, fathers are much more connected to the unborn baby and grieve deeply also. Greif from miscarriage, can lead to feelings of isolation, depression, and loneliness for those affected by the miscarriage. A loss, no matter at what stage of the pregnancy, is difficult. Even if a woman was pregnant for only a short time, her pregnancy may have been planned for years.
Experiencing early pregnancy loss means that you are probably feeling more sadness than you ever thought possible. The emotional impact usually takes longer to heal than physical recovery does, allowing yourself to grieve the loss can help you accept it over time. Remember that your feelings are normal. Allow yourself to experience the grieving process in your own way and at your own pace. Its common to feel fine one day and terrible the next.
Mothers and Fathers may experience a roller coaster of emotions, this loss can be world changing for parents who care deeply for their little one, yet never got the chance to meet them. Even if the pregnancy ended very early, the sense of bonding between a parent and the baby can be strong. Some parents even experience physical symptoms from their emotional distress, such as depression, anxiety, anger, frustration and even resentment towards others.
Respect your needs and limitations as you work through your grief and begin to heal. As you work through this difficult time:
- Give your body and mind time to heal: Time is often the best healer. Your body needs time to get back to a sense of normal, and so does your mind and emotional health.
- Let yourself grieve the loss: Allow yourself to go through the grieving process, from shock, anger, guilt, and depression to acceptance. If you feel like you need to cry, then cry. Stop to acknowledge your loss. If your feelings of sadness are long lasting, talk with your doctor.
- Take care of yourself: You have been through a traumatic loss, but life must go on. Try to stick to a regular sleep schedule, eat well, or do something active each day.
- Get support: When you are ready, share your feelings with your partner, family, and friends. Join a support group with other woman who have experienced pregnancy loss.
- Commemorate your baby: It can be tough to move on emotionally without some sort of closure. Have a small ceremony to say goodbye, make a memory box, write a farewell letter, commemorate your child’s life in a special garden, get a special piece of jewellery with a birthstone – whatever feels right.
Pregnancy loss can be devastating. It changes your hopes and dreams for the future. Whatever you are feeling, please remember that it is normal and it won’t always feel as overwhelming as it does in the beginning. You will find that you are stronger than you think, and over time, coping with the miscarriage will become easier.
If you are looking to reach out immediately, SANDS are available to chat 24/7 on 1300 308 307.
Australian Heritage Funerals also holds Remembrance services for babies born before 20 weeks. These services are held at the Garden of Remembrance Cemetery, 3 times each year. Please contact us for more details on 07 46349946.