Mothers Day without Mum

Saturday, 7 May 2022

Mother’s often hold a special place in people’s hearts, it can be an emotional holiday for those who have lost their mums. Whether the loss is fairly recent, or happened some time ago, the inescapable emphasis on gifts, celebrations and togetherness can stir up feelings of grief, loneliness, and nostalgia.

With the intensity of it all, it can be tempting to ignore it, hide away and let yourself hurt. But doing this isn’t necessarily healthy. In fact, doing something special to honour your mother’s memory can be very cathartic.

So, while it might feel painful and difficult to bring yourself around to the idea of celebrating Mother’s Day without your mum, here are a few suggestions that you can try out to remember your mum and make the day’s pain just that little bit more bearable.

Ways to Remember Mum this Mother’s Day

  1. Buy a card & write to her

It might sound strange, but the simple act of writing a heartful Mother’s Day card can be one of the best ways to help approach the grief of spending your first Mother’s Day without your mum.
Often, it can be quite difficult to fully process emotions in our heads. Taking the time to sit down and write our thoughts and feelings forces our minds to slow down and gives us an opportunity to actually express everything going on inside us.

If you do choose to write a Mother’s Day card, you can fill it with meaningful messages about how much you miss her, or you could write as if she were still here, expressing how much she means to you.

There’s no right or wrong way to approach this, you should do whatever feels right for you.

  1. Visit her resting place

This one can be a bit more difficult for those spending their first Mother’s Day without their mum, but if you think you can, then visiting the place where you properly said goodbye to your mum can be a good first step towards finding closure.

Take some time out in your day to visit her resting place. Cemeteries are quiet by nature and provide much-needed peace and quiet for some gentle contemplation.

If you’re missing your mum on Mother’s Day, but feel you aren’t ready to visit her place of rest, then a simple alternative could be to plant a small tree or bush in her memory. This will allow you to visit her at any point until you’re ready for an official visit.

  1. Let yourself grieve

The most important thing to do is recognise that the upcoming days or weeks might be difficult. Pushing back your grief won’t make it disappear.

Allow yourself to sit with the grief and acknowledge it, it’s important to realise that allowing yourself to feel that sense of loss is okay, and letting out emotion can be much better for your health than holding it in.

If you do have a moment of enjoyment on Mother’s Day, try not to feel guilty. Allow yourself to enjoy brief moments of respite if they happen and don’t feel bad when they do.


Remember, you can’t plan for everything, it may be something unexpected that brings a wave of grief. These are just a few suggestions for what you can do if you’re missing your mum on Mother’s Day. They’re not for everyone, but we hope at least one or two will help to make remembering her on this day just that little bit easier.